Once there was a boy named jason and he was in a boys jail and he was 15 years old and he had a plan to escape and when it was midnight he was going to escape.
At midnight he was creating lasers and he was breaking them and he was building a rope and then he climbed down and he was doing parkour to his house and he got his stuff and stole his mums money and went to a hotel.
The next day he was paying to go to the hotel and he was in a room and he sawn the cops there and he jumped down and he was doing parkour to the other end and he made it and then the cops where in his room and he put a robot mum there so he would think that it was not his room and when he left he was going back to his room and he was cooking and then the cops came so he ran to the window and put the robot mum there but they took the mask of and they knew that he was outside and went outside and they arrested him and he was back in jail and he was in a even harder one and then he just noticed that he was going to go in one more day so he had no point of escaping and he was there for another 16 years
Friday, April 24, 2020
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Hi Aiden
ReplyDeleteI love your imagination in your stories and the descriptions you used about how Jason escaped using ropes and parkour. Well done on using some punctuation and paragraphs in this story. Have another look at your last paragraph and read it out loud to yourself. Can you hear where you may put a full stop?
Hi Aiden
ReplyDeleteMrs T here, I really enjoyed reading your story, you do have a great imagination! It is great to see you are using your full stops and making new paragraphs. As Petra said, read the last paragraph out loud to yourself and see if you can hear where the breaks should be. Great job, and looking forward to seeing more of you great imagination.
Hi Aiden!
ReplyDeleteIts Kezia, I really like your story! Maybe next time, before you publish your story you should read it. Cause you might need some punctuation, full stops or any thing like that! I hope to see your blog posts soon!
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Kezia!
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